What NOT to say at a Funeral Home

I have vivid memories of my mother threatening acts of violence outside several different funeral homes.

As a pastor’s kid, we passed through a decent amount of visitations as a family.

My mother knew that few things felt as loud as an awkward silence in a moment of sadness.

Because of that pressure, she’d seen people say terribly stupid things in seriously sensitive moments.

She made clear that the only words we could speak were, “We are sorry for your loss. We are praying for you.”

Not a single word could come out of our mouths besides those words of comfort.

I’m thankful for that guidance–I needed the clarity as a child because I was far more likely to use my little tongue to start a fire than to warm their hearts.

Have you been tongue-tied in the church?

A brother or sister opens up to you with a need or a sorrow… now what do you do!?

Your mind and heart are racing, thinking, “Why would they think I have something to say in this? I can barely keep my head on straight!”

We might muster the words, “I’ll pray for you.”

Those are wonderful words, and I’m thankful for those willing to take even that step of kind encouragement.

I’d like to offer a suggestion.

Pre-load your heart and mouth with prayers built for your brothers and sisters.

Just as my mother told her boys what to say, tell yourself what you will say when the pressure-filled moment of sadness springs upon you.

Prayer is fitting together the Word of God and the world He’s placed us in.

You can prepare yourself with the prayers of Scripture to fit appropriately into these opportunities with God’s Word.

Make it a point to memorize a few of the prayers in the New Testament so that you can pray them for and pass them on to brothers and sisters.

Just yesterday, I received a call from a member who had several heartaches. The call was unannounced, and the trials were new to me.

I wasn’t sure how to process all that was going on, but thankfully, I had recently read 2 Thessalonians 3!

I read these words to my sister in the Lord as an expression of my prayer for her,

⁵ May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.

2 Thessalonians 3:5

The Word of God refreshes the soul and gives light to the eyes. Anything I conjure up myself would just add to the noise.

You don’t need to feel tongue-tied or prayer-tied! Your Heavenly Father has given you a script to help you.

I invite you to memorize prayers in the Scriptures! Put a few favorites in your heart that are ready to grab at a moment’s notice.

It might feel a little wooden at first, but the ever-powerful Word is worthy of your trust in the moments that need the most grace.