The Charity of Clarity in Discipleship

Simple Direction for Discipling Relationships

We live in the age of infinite nuance and endless clarification. 

Somehow the only result is more confusion and less clarity. Endless nuance plays right into the desire of our culture for minimal responsibility/accountability and maximum flexibility. 

Endless nuance is killing the church by neutering discipleship. Our over-psychologized culture loves to spend infinite time gazing inward at the nuance and uniqueness of our situation.

Jesus called us to go and make disciples and I hate to break it to you but no disciples are made by staring infinitely into our navels.

Jesus did not command us to be around each other with nothing really to say and no real idea about how to help each other.

The Church cannot stall in Christ’s story because every sinner’s story is unique. 

I’m not sure how this whole quagmire of nuanced-nothingness-relationships came to be, but I’m confident the church contributed by choosing discussion over declaration. 

When God’s Word is interpreted to have amorphous meaning found through wandering discussion and application through primarily mystic personal intuition the Church loses her disciple making compass, map, and mission. 

Meaningful spiritual conversations are a vital part of the Christian life. Wholesale trading the declaration of God’s Word for discussions about opinions is a deadly trade. Hopefully our small groups and smaller format discipleship ministries recognize the difference.

Many Christians, who have only experienced directionless discipleship or have been burned by authoritarian directives, struggle to know how to do any spiritual good in helping another disciple move forward, course correct, or stop sinning.

Here are simple steps to doing spiritual good that embrace Christian humility while enjoying confidence in the Word of God. 

When someone brings you into a meaningful spiritual moment (need for direction, confession of sin, etc.): 

1.     Tell your friend what God says clearly by quoting Him directly. 

Take your friend to a passage of Scripture that addresses their situation and ask them to read it with you. I’d encourage having them read it aloud. You’re already thinking about how intimidating this is. I hope it helps you see the value of pastors and mature believers to guide you. A good search engine can help too! 

2.     Ask your friend to restate God’s Word in their own language.

This is different than asking a friend “What God’s Word means for them.” You want to know what the Scripture is saying, and you want to see if they grasp Scripture’s message and intention. Few things have helped me understand where a friend is at like asking them to restate or explain a passage. 

**1-2A. You might need to work together to get clarity on what the passage says. Don’t rush past this if your friend does not understand. You must resist the urgency to get someone back “in order” before they understand. Helping your friend plant roots in the Word will produce more growth than conforming to you opinion. 

3.     Ask your friend to describe obedient responses to God’s Word.

The Lord Jesus used questions to cut to the heart of the matter. Asking a question that stirs reflection can draw out the heart. Asking questions that make application concrete challenge the conscience. 

Here are a few handy questions: 

How would obeying this passage impact your situation? 

What would it look like for you to obey this passage today? 

4.     Call them to pray for the Spirit’s help with you.

Bring dependence on the Spirit into the conversation as quickly as possible. We’re making disciples (and dependents) of Christ, after all, not ourselves! 

5. Commit to check in on the action step they described. 

We need each other and knowing a friend will check in is the support and accountability many of us need. Describe what they’ve agree is faithful understanding and application of God’s authority and tell them when you intend to check in. 

People don’t appreciate unkind interruptions. They do appreciate clarity when they’ve invited help or trust the relationship. I find many Christians wasting time pushing on closed doors or being unclear and unhelpful in the places they’ve been welcomed. 

Don’t settle for discussion without discipleship! Let’s do spiritual good by having conversations that use God’s Word to move people.