Abandon Eggshell Relationships!

Enjoy the Craft of Confrontation

Are you easier to confront or to offend? What would those close to you say?

Receiving criticism is the mark of God’s wisdom. Rejecting rebuke is a sign of stupidity. 

Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you;

rebuke the wise and they will love you.

Proverbs 9:8

or 

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,

but whoever hates correction is stupid.

Proverbs 12:1

Receiving criticism should be the craft of the Christian. 

Do you feel free to confront your friends? Do you have permission to challenge their choices or call them to more? How many loving concerns remain swept under the rug?

“Christian community” is widely celebrated, but the modern recipe seems to be baked with only affirmation when Scripture states the importance of confrontation. 

Why are churches full of eggshell relationships? Why are churches plagued by members and leaders who can only handle praise?

There are many reasons–I believe an important one is that we functionally forget our justification.

Many Christians forget the full, complete, and powerful work of Jesus on the cross to handle their sin and donate His righteousness. 

When we forget the position Christ gives, we focus on measuring up instead of moving forward. 

Criticism is heard from the perspective of Pass/Fail instead of Permission to Grow. 

When we remember why we measure up (Christ’s righteousness) we’re free to listen for opportunities to get rid of sin and grow in obedience. 

Justification is finished and we can focus on sanctification.

In spite of a perspective shattering Gospel, the church is settling for the world’s pattern of relationships.

We should be markedly different than the world. When we receive criticism, let’s trade bravado for gratitude. When confronted let’s lean in to learn rather than run away. 

We need to embrace the gift of rebuke and the glory of receiving criticism for growth. 

Believers have the security of Christ’s finished work in their place and the Spirit of wisdom in their heart. We can chase wisdom in our friendships.

It’s unrealistic to expect our friends to confront us in the age of offense. You can take a step toward wisdom by opening the door for rebuke. Tell a wise friend that you want to receive their help. Give them a standing invitation for life-giving confrontation.

Christian’s need to return to the craft of confrontation– Let’s be hard to offend and easy to instruct!